Monday, April 1, 2013

In Favor of Disbanding Sports

Sports are something we all treasure. Yet we refuse to acknowledge the absolutely negative effect they have. Sports bring us back to our primal nature in what is a modern, civilized world. They promote drug use (see: Lance Armstrong). They teach everyone involved, from children to adults, to be elitists. This is why we need to get rid of them.

Sports cause injuries. The only real way to tear a muscle is if that muscle is being used. And in today's lazy America, the only thing muscle can possibly be used for is sports (certainly not moving things or the like).

Kids in today's schools are athletic. There are approximately two million high school athletes playing football, basketball, and baseball alone. And I guarantee they all have friends from those sports. Together, they form a clique, leaving out the non-athletic kids. This lesson in elitism translates into the real world, hindering teamwork and friendship.

It's also teaching kids to dream. Most of those two million kids have delusions of grandeur, thinking they'll play in the NFL, NBA, or MLB. But out of those two million, only 1000 will make it to the pros (693 MLB, 253 NFL, 51 NBA are the exact numbers). Deluded kids start to work harder at sports than the things that really matter, like their studies.

Many athletes at the professional level have been caught doping. Is this the message we want to send to our young athletes? That using EPO, anabolic steroids, etc is okay? That it will bring you to the top of your sport? Because it will, if you can get away with it. They say that strict parents raise sneaky children. Athletics teach kids this, too. Just in a different way.

Many pros have also been arrested. Look at Ray Lewis, acquitted on second degree murder. But he also made millions playing for the Ravens, and won a Superbowl. So the message is that it's okay to lie, cheat, steal, murder, as long as you're really good at playing your sport?

We can no longer afford sports in today's economy. Tickets for a baseball game cost about $50 and that's not including the drive down, concessions, etc. And what do they go to? Some fat baseball player who still misses the ball at least seven out of ten times, but still gets paid about 5 million dollars a year. Or take Joe Flacco. That guy won't win another Super Bowl in the next six years of his 120 million dollar contract extension. Why? Because he's not that good in the realm of the NFL. The only reason he won is because he had excellent receivers and a staunch defense. But 120 million dollars over six year?! Give me a break.

When you look at the big picture, sports are a terrible thing, they teach kids to work hard at the wrong things. To be clique-ish. To be selfish and self centered. To use drugs. To pay some convict millions. We have to get rid of sports. Call your local newspaper's editorial section and comment. Write the NFL, NBA, MLB and every other organization. We can't allow our children to grow up idolizing cheaters, dopers, convicts, and jerks.

PS: APRIL FOOLS

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